They pulled up about 2:15pm. About half the town was there. Sitting in the driver’s seat of her SUV Jessica could see over a few cars in front of her and a small sea of people’s heads to the pond. There were a few dozen kids skating on the pond. Some little figure skaters and some future community game players on the ice passing the puck. She started to feel a bit of anxiety. Not the bad kind. The kind she used to get every time they pulled in the parking lot before a game. Her dad sitting next to her giving her the ritual pep talk.
As they made their way to the bleachers Jessica felt like she was in a Twilight Zone movie. She saw so many familiar faces; the surroundings had not changed at all. It was even the same old bleachers. Slightly more run down, but the same. At the same time people looked at her as if she was a stranger in her own town. As she walked past she could hear some whispers behind her. She ignored it and just kept walking. When they reached the bleachers it was like having season tickets for some people. She noticed the same people sitting in the same spots as they were 18 and more years ago when she was home. Even her parents sat at the same spot. “The regulars,” as they were called, her parents one of them, greeted them as they climbed up. Most expressing their “Glad to see you hear George,” referring to her father. Her Mom still went to all the games; it was just Dad that lost the interest when Jessica left. Even Jessica herself got a few “Jessie, thank goodness, how are you.” With a friendly hug and kiss on the check and quick “just fine thanks and you,” as they continued climbing, gave her a small sense of relief, and hope that it would be the end of it. Somehow, she knew it wouldn’t be.
She squished in the middle of her parents and got comfortable just as they were clearing everyone off the ice so they could start the game. The teams and coaches were lined up at their respective benches and the coaches gave the customary good luck hand shake. The anthem was said, a prayer was said, the puck was dropped and the game had begun. Jessica was mesmerized sitting there watching the kids skating up and down the pond. No boundaries. Certainly different from the NHL games she was used to photographing. Jessica couldn’t help it. When she saw people in action her photographer mode kicked in. She clutched the camera that hung around her neck and excused herself from the bleachers.
“Where you going Jessie?” asked her mother
“To get a closer look.” Jessica answered without looking back. She was focused. Her mind racing, watching the action. She walked quickly to an empty spot around the pond, getting close to the game. When she looked down to get the camera ready for the job she was glad she hooked up the sport zoom. This was going to allow her to zoom up to the action for the distance she was at. Heck with that thing she could count the hairs in Coach McCormick’s nose. Crouching down to get into prime position, she put the camera up to her face and peered through the view finder. The story began. With every click of the button Jessica made a mental note, great shot, good shot, zoom closer, bad shot, no shot, emotion on the bench get the shot, close up on the coach, close up on the face off, goal scored get celebration. She was in the zone. Getting the celebration at the end was key. The East won and Jessica was doing a little celebration dance on the inside of her own. When all was said and done she noticed she had taken about 350 photos. She was excited to get back to the house and get them downloaded onto her laptop.
“Jessie? Jessica Warner is that you!? Oh my goodness.” Jessica recognized the voice. When she turned and confirmed she couldn’t help but smile.
“Jimmy!” He was quite a site for sore eyes that’s for sure. Jimmy Greene and Jessica were best friends growing up and all through high school. They wound up in two separate directions after graduation. She went south to Philly and he went North West to Michigan. It had been almost a year since they spoke on the phone.
Jimmy gave her a warm hug. Jimmy was at least 6’2” 225 easy. Wavy dark hair and the most beautiful hazel eyes she had ever seen. Jimmy kept himself in shape. He was a great hockey player and third best for the Wolverines until he blew out his knee and things were never the same after that. He was now the head physical trainer for the Detroit Red Wings.
“How are you Jessie? How are things going with the divorce?” Jimmy asked
She forgot for a moment about all that. She had even forgotten that she had told him. Things had just began the last she spoke to him.
“It’s over, done, final. But enough about me what is going on with you?” Jessica was quick to change the subject.
“Oh not too much. Just in town for a couple of days. Wings are in Washington in two days and I’ll be meeting the team down there at that point. So just came into town for an early Christmas with the family. So how about you? It’s been quite some time since you’ve been in town. Is this you turning a new leaf?”
“I don’t know, maybe. The world is mine to discover now I guess. I got in last night so I really haven’t thought about it much.”
“How long are you in for?”
“Well I’m supposed to stay away from the office for three months which takes me pretty much to the play offs just about. But, you know me I won’t be able to stay away that long.”
“Three months? Wow, who do they have covering the games? Some new guy and probably a few others trying to make a name for themselves. Doesn’t matter we all know the shots will be mediocre compared to what I would turn in. I guess they will just have to deal with it.” Jessica said quite confidently.
“Boy, aren’t we the confident one.” Jimmy said with a laugh. “I love me who do you love.”
“What? It’s true and you know it.” Jessica jabbed back with a smile.
“Hey Jessie it was really great seeing you. I am still in town tomorrow let’s get together for lunch at the old stomping ground. Talk about some old times, what do you say?”
“You know what Jimmy that would be great. Let’s say 1:30?”
“Sounds good Jessie. I’ll see you then” Jimmy gave her another warm hug, waved and smiled as he walked away. Jessica smiled larger then she had in a really long time. Neither of them knew that tomorrow’s meeting would have more meaning then just two old friends catching up. Jessica’s life was about to take an interesting turn.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Chapter Three
It was late when Jessica made her way up the stairs to her old bedroom. It was amazing how her mom didn’t change a thing in there since she left. With the exception of bedding and curtains anyway. Looking around brought back so many childhood memories. Good memories. But through all the memories the only thing she could find the strength to do is lie on the bed clutching a teddy bear and cry. She held it together for so long, 9 months to be exact. She could just feel herself falling apart. Every inch of her body hurt. Every nerve jumped.
The divorce had been final since June. It hadn’t taken the attorney long to sort everything out. It was Tom’s decision to use the same attorney to save money. How cheap. Jessica didn’t care. She just remembered how she wanted it all over with and Tom out of her life so she could start over. Tom had agreed that instead of paying her alimony, he would forfeit his half of the value of the house when it was sold. Jessica was ecstatic about that to say the least. She wanted him to be no part of her future and not having to receive a check from him on a monthly basis was fine by her.
The house had sold rather quickly in the first week of August for $1.5 million. After the mortgage company was paid, she had a nice down payment for a two level, loft condo in center city Philly. With a little extra to splurge on some new things for herself. It was nice when she moved into the condo and got out of the country. She felt a brief time of relief. She was back where she wanted to be. Her 2nd floor loft area was set up as her photography studio. She was excited to get back into some more personal work again. But, there was something missing. It wasn’t the presence of someone being there because, she had been alone for so long when she thought about it. It was a feeling that she has had for a long time. Even before the divorce. She never had time to focus on it until now. Until she was alone, finally alone. She just couldn’t figure it out. She buried herself in her work. So much that she had started to lose focus on it. When she looked through the camera to take those shots she didn’t see the story she usually saw. All she saw was another subject whizzing by. Her pictures lost the feeling they once held. She was in danger of losing her status she held for so many years. Karine had placed her on Sabbatical but, was it too late? Had others began to notice? Was she going to have to start over in her job too? There were so many questions.
These things plagued her as she lie awake in her childhood bedroom. A place that she hadn’t been for 18 years. Well, if she was going to start over, going back to the beginning seemed to be the best place to start.
The alarm clock on the night stand said 11:30am. Jessica didn’t know how long she was asleep but it felt like only 5 minutes. Looking at herself in the bathroom mirror actually made her jump back a bit. Her eyes were all puffy and swollen from crying all night. Her 5’10”, 165 lbs. frame looked weak.
“God Jessie you look sick” she said to herself. As the hot water hit her skin she felt muscles that she didn’t know exists start to relax from the massage they were getting. Jessica started to think. How was she going to snap out of this funk? She should feel good about herself. She was free, free to do whatever she wanted without “running it by” anyone first. If she wanted to take on another client, she could. If she wanted to quit her job and work for Nat Geo like she has wanted to since she was a little girl, what was going to stop her? Nobody. But, she loved her job at Philly City Images. She had her internship there and never left. She loved the fact that she has been THE #1 sport photographer since 1998. That was 11 years running going to be 12 once they announce the 2010 nominees. She is sure to be one of them and of course get the honor as usual. She already had her speech written. “Gosh Jessica your such a dork” she voiced out loud. But then why the hell did she feel like such shit.
After putting on some makeup to cover up the puffy pillows under her eyes she made her way to the kitchen where her mom had a spread of various lunch meat and fixing for self made hoagies. She kissed her mom gently on the cheek and made her way over to her father. Not sure why but she did the same to him. That was the first time she had ever done that. He smiled.
“Are we expecting the Army with all this food?” she asked as she took a seat between them at the table.
“No. It’s just lunch” her mom replies. Jessica wasn’t surprised at the answer. Her mom had always cooked a feast. There were always leftovers.
“So what is on our agenda for today Jessie?”
“Not sure, I haven’t really thought about it. It’s been so long since I’ve been here, I really don’t know where to start.”
“The pond is frozen. I think there playing a community game today why don’t you go check it out. It should start around 3. I’m sure you’re bound to run into some old friends in town for the holiday. Might be nice to catch up with some old friends. Who knows if coach sees you he may ask his old star player to lace up some skates and jump on”
Her mom was talking about the community pond that was used as a make shift hockey rink every winter. The community game was a little rivalry the town had. They had two co-ed teams, west and east. Back in her day it was a serious thing. It was quite the “friendly” rivalry. You see, if you lived on the East side you could try out for the East and West side for the west. She used to play for the east. She must admit she was the best player on the team. But then again she was a competitive person, and she always went after what she wanted. She had heard the rivalry had died down after she left.
“Oh I don’t know about that Mom. I haven’t played a game since my first year in college, and that was just a few friends screwing around on the ice. Does Coach Hoffman still do it?”
"Well, it’s Coach Hoffman only its John not Daniel.”
“Johnny!? Little Johnny is the coach now?”
“He’s not so little Johnny anymore. He’s 32 years old. He coaches the high school football team now too.”
“Wow, times have changed haven’t they?”
“That’ll teach you to stay away for 18 LONG Years now won’t it?” Her mom said with a snicker
“Oh and for the west its coach McCormick now.” Mom paused
“Bobby McCormick? The “NHL wannabe” McCormick?”
“Yup”
Bobby McCormick played for the west when Jessie played. He was the west side’s best player. They were always after each other on the ice. He never did forgive her for breaking his nose.
Her father put down his glass of soda “I think we should all go, as a family, like the old days. It’ll be nice to take it a game.”
The look of shock on her mother’s face said it all. She remembered her mom telling her that Dad had no desire to go to the community game anymore since she wasn’t there to play.
“OK Dad, yea we’ll go. As a family.” Jessica answered
“That settles that then” her mom finished
They sat at the table finishing their sandwiches, looking at the local paper and making small talk. Nothing was said about last night. Jessica figured they were still processing all the information. Jessica was actually laughing a bit, smiling too. Is this what she was missing?
The divorce had been final since June. It hadn’t taken the attorney long to sort everything out. It was Tom’s decision to use the same attorney to save money. How cheap. Jessica didn’t care. She just remembered how she wanted it all over with and Tom out of her life so she could start over. Tom had agreed that instead of paying her alimony, he would forfeit his half of the value of the house when it was sold. Jessica was ecstatic about that to say the least. She wanted him to be no part of her future and not having to receive a check from him on a monthly basis was fine by her.
The house had sold rather quickly in the first week of August for $1.5 million. After the mortgage company was paid, she had a nice down payment for a two level, loft condo in center city Philly. With a little extra to splurge on some new things for herself. It was nice when she moved into the condo and got out of the country. She felt a brief time of relief. She was back where she wanted to be. Her 2nd floor loft area was set up as her photography studio. She was excited to get back into some more personal work again. But, there was something missing. It wasn’t the presence of someone being there because, she had been alone for so long when she thought about it. It was a feeling that she has had for a long time. Even before the divorce. She never had time to focus on it until now. Until she was alone, finally alone. She just couldn’t figure it out. She buried herself in her work. So much that she had started to lose focus on it. When she looked through the camera to take those shots she didn’t see the story she usually saw. All she saw was another subject whizzing by. Her pictures lost the feeling they once held. She was in danger of losing her status she held for so many years. Karine had placed her on Sabbatical but, was it too late? Had others began to notice? Was she going to have to start over in her job too? There were so many questions.
These things plagued her as she lie awake in her childhood bedroom. A place that she hadn’t been for 18 years. Well, if she was going to start over, going back to the beginning seemed to be the best place to start.
The alarm clock on the night stand said 11:30am. Jessica didn’t know how long she was asleep but it felt like only 5 minutes. Looking at herself in the bathroom mirror actually made her jump back a bit. Her eyes were all puffy and swollen from crying all night. Her 5’10”, 165 lbs. frame looked weak.
“God Jessie you look sick” she said to herself. As the hot water hit her skin she felt muscles that she didn’t know exists start to relax from the massage they were getting. Jessica started to think. How was she going to snap out of this funk? She should feel good about herself. She was free, free to do whatever she wanted without “running it by” anyone first. If she wanted to take on another client, she could. If she wanted to quit her job and work for Nat Geo like she has wanted to since she was a little girl, what was going to stop her? Nobody. But, she loved her job at Philly City Images. She had her internship there and never left. She loved the fact that she has been THE #1 sport photographer since 1998. That was 11 years running going to be 12 once they announce the 2010 nominees. She is sure to be one of them and of course get the honor as usual. She already had her speech written. “Gosh Jessica your such a dork” she voiced out loud. But then why the hell did she feel like such shit.
After putting on some makeup to cover up the puffy pillows under her eyes she made her way to the kitchen where her mom had a spread of various lunch meat and fixing for self made hoagies. She kissed her mom gently on the cheek and made her way over to her father. Not sure why but she did the same to him. That was the first time she had ever done that. He smiled.
“Are we expecting the Army with all this food?” she asked as she took a seat between them at the table.
“No. It’s just lunch” her mom replies. Jessica wasn’t surprised at the answer. Her mom had always cooked a feast. There were always leftovers.
“So what is on our agenda for today Jessie?”
“Not sure, I haven’t really thought about it. It’s been so long since I’ve been here, I really don’t know where to start.”
“The pond is frozen. I think there playing a community game today why don’t you go check it out. It should start around 3. I’m sure you’re bound to run into some old friends in town for the holiday. Might be nice to catch up with some old friends. Who knows if coach sees you he may ask his old star player to lace up some skates and jump on”
Her mom was talking about the community pond that was used as a make shift hockey rink every winter. The community game was a little rivalry the town had. They had two co-ed teams, west and east. Back in her day it was a serious thing. It was quite the “friendly” rivalry. You see, if you lived on the East side you could try out for the East and West side for the west. She used to play for the east. She must admit she was the best player on the team. But then again she was a competitive person, and she always went after what she wanted. She had heard the rivalry had died down after she left.
“Oh I don’t know about that Mom. I haven’t played a game since my first year in college, and that was just a few friends screwing around on the ice. Does Coach Hoffman still do it?”
"Well, it’s Coach Hoffman only its John not Daniel.”
“Johnny!? Little Johnny is the coach now?”
“He’s not so little Johnny anymore. He’s 32 years old. He coaches the high school football team now too.”
“Wow, times have changed haven’t they?”
“That’ll teach you to stay away for 18 LONG Years now won’t it?” Her mom said with a snicker
“Oh and for the west its coach McCormick now.” Mom paused
“Bobby McCormick? The “NHL wannabe” McCormick?”
“Yup”
Bobby McCormick played for the west when Jessie played. He was the west side’s best player. They were always after each other on the ice. He never did forgive her for breaking his nose.
Her father put down his glass of soda “I think we should all go, as a family, like the old days. It’ll be nice to take it a game.”
The look of shock on her mother’s face said it all. She remembered her mom telling her that Dad had no desire to go to the community game anymore since she wasn’t there to play.
“OK Dad, yea we’ll go. As a family.” Jessica answered
“That settles that then” her mom finished
They sat at the table finishing their sandwiches, looking at the local paper and making small talk. Nothing was said about last night. Jessica figured they were still processing all the information. Jessica was actually laughing a bit, smiling too. Is this what she was missing?
Friday, February 19, 2010
Chapter Two
Walking into her parent’s house was a blast from the past. Nothing really had changed since the last time she was there. Had it really been 18 years? She hadn’t planned to stay away that long. It just happened. Working her way through college forced her to stay in the city. Meeting Tom and getting married in Jamaica. Becoming the #1 sports photographer in Philadelphia, one of the best sports towns in America where there is some sort of sport played year round keeps one busy.
Jessica gave her father a hug hello, which in itself was rare. Gary wasn’t exactly an affectionate man. But I guess when you talk to your only daughter over the phone 1 or 2 times a month for the past 18 years it brings out the best in someone. Jessica was planning on coming up after the New Year. Once she got her head on straight again after the divorce. Truth was she knew that would never happen. She needed to talk and vent, and let’s face it; a professional isn’t always the best. With her mind not particularly on her work lately it had started to show. She was pulled into her boss’s office and pretty much forced into a long overdue vacation/sabbatical. Her boss was one of the best she had. She also just happened to be her best friend.
Karine had call Jessica in her office about 10am on the 18th. Wasn’t to “out of the ordinary”. She probably just wanted to talk about the shots from the hockey game the night before.
“Hey boss what’s up? Did you review the series from last night?”
“Yea, Jessica come in and have a seat my dear. We need to talk”
Jessica was a bit confused. They went over the series and even she had to admit there were quite a few that were a bit amateurish. There were enough of the great shots to pass but too many to throw out. Karine got up from her desk and walked over and shut her office door. Now is when Karine went from boss to best friend.
“Jessica, you need to take some time off of work. I know we have talked about this before and I respected your wishes to let you bury yourself in your work until the New Year but as a friend, and especially as your boss, I can’t let you continue like this.”
“Oh boy here we go” Jessica groaned
“Oh boy yea that’s right. Jessie….Sorry Jessica, your work is starting to show your stress. I am putting you on sabbatical.”
“Sabbatical! That is just insane. I don’t need sabbatical. I just need to get through the next two weeks, take my week’s vacation and I will be fine.”
“No Jessica, it’s already done. As of today you are on sabbatical. You’re done for three months.” Karine continued as Jessica rolled her eyes and started to protest. “Jessica stop right there. You are the best damn sports photographer this city has seen in 20 years. You worked hard to get that status and I will not sit idly by as you bury yourself and turn in shit work for a series. Now don’t worry about upcoming games. I will assign two people to the hockey games, together they should be able to turn in something comparable to you. You will be back in time for the playoffs and hopefully have your head together and continue to be my, the city’s, #1 photographer.”
Jessica really couldn’t argue. She knew Karine was right. Plus, she always did have her back and best interests at heart. So, here it was, 2 days later and she was sitting on her parents couch after 18 years trying to avoid the question of “where’s Tom”. She thought avoiding the subject and answering the first question of “what are you doing here, we weren’t expecting you until after the New Year” would keep her mother’s mind off the lingering more important questions. She knew her mom was chomping at the bit just waiting for the chance to ask again. As Jessica took a sip of water that gave her mom the window she needed.
“Jessie honey, why do you need to get your head back together and god sake why isn’t Tom with you? And enough of this ‘he’s in the shower or doing overtime’ bit. I want to know what’s going on.”
Jessica knew her mother was just playing dumb. She could see it written all on her mother’s face that she knew something was up. So she started from the beginning. They lived in a beautiful 3500 square foot huge house in Lansdale just north of the city. Jessica was intent on staying and living in the city but not Tom. He wanted “the dream house”. It was a beautiful home and Jessica got used to not always being in the middle of all the excitement the city had to offer. They were happy, so she thought. As Jessica worked her way to the top of her field Tom couldn’t be more supportive. Tom had a great job himself. He was a program designer for the city’s biggest TV broadcast company. He himself was working his way up to the top. They were living quite well. Then in 1998, and every year so far there after, Jessica was named the #1 sports photographer in the country. Offers started to pour in from lots of big named companies. Even National Geographic came knocking. The Philadelphia Company she was working for gave her a huge raise and a special copy write on her photos. Once the company had their photos that they were going to use she was free to take whatever else and sell them to other advertisement agencies and online sites to use. This is where things started to turn for her and Tom. Tom wasn’t too keen on the fact that Jessica’s paychecks were more than his. Tom started picking up more overtime to try to supplement the difference between the two. Jessica started to get a bit lonely. There were a lot of times when she was eating alone, waking up alone, and going to bed alone. So, she thought, maybe I’ll just take on another team to photograph. She already had the Eagles and the Flyers so she thought, “If I pick up the Phillies, I can do professional all year round instead of fall, winter, some spring, and then spotty college in the summer.”
It was about a year ago to the day when Jessica decided to take on the Phillies. She was excited about the new opportunity and couldn’t wait to tell Tom about it. Tom didn’t take it as well as she had hoped he would. He completely flew off the handle.
“So what do you think Thomas? I’m sure I can get some great shots from the Dugout.” She said excitedly
“Huh, what do I think? I can't believe you went and did this to me. You just can't stand it can you. I finally got the promotion I was working at and you just couldn’t take it. You just can’t stand the fact that I was finally going to be making more money than you, you just HAD to go out and pick up ANOTHER client didn’t you”. He said raising his voice. Jessica was in complete shock. She did not expect this.
“Don’t stand there looking at me like I’m insane! You’re the one who is always complaining ‘Oh Tom we never see each other anymore, we need a vacation together’, blah blah blah” he said mockingly “and then you go and do this?!!
“Tom, I’m sorry I didn’t know this is how you felt you never said anything to me. We never talked about this”. Jessica said trying to stay calm.
“Oh give me a fucking break Jessie. You don’t care what I think all you have ever cared about is your stupid photography career and your “#1 best photographer” title. You don’t give a shit about my feelings”. Tom turned and started to leave. Jessica couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Well, let me give you a little news flash, welcome to the 21st fucking century Thomas. Women are allowed to make money too. Where the hell are you going?” Jessica followed Tom out the door and onto the porch. He was already at his car with the door open when she got to the top of the porch steps. “Thomas answer me where the hell are you going? Typical you leaving in the middle of a fight that you started. Just go ahead and walk away as usual.”
“No Jessie, I didn’t start this fight. You started it back when you decided to pick up another client. And I’m going to the office. At least there if people are going to stab you in the back they at least have the decency to throw marshmallows instead of stones.” He answered in an eerily calm demeanor.
Ugh, what did that even mean, Jessica thought. Oh and she HATED when he called her Jessie. Tom drove off and she just stormed back into the house. Jessica paused for a bit to take a sip of water before she continued. It seemed as if the story was almost done. Truth was, it was only about half way. She took a deep breath, whipped a few damp tears and continued.
Jessica found herself waking up at 2am that night to the sound of the garage door opening and an empty bottle of Merlot on the coffee table in front of her. She laid completely still with her eyes closed wondering if the 8 hours Tom had been gone was enough to settle down. She didn’t hear him come in the room but she could feel his presence next to her. Not to mention the faint smell cheap roses. You know the $5 a dozen you can pick up on just about every street corner in Philly. Even in the dead of winter. She heard the crinkle of cellophane close to her as she opened her eyes. She saw the roses setting on the table in front of her and Tom had squatted down to her level.
“It’s late Jessie lets go to bed” Tom said quietly
She regretted slightly what she was about to say. “No Tom, we need to talk about what happened today. You know that” she sat up on the couch and Tom moved in to sit next to her. Close. He put his arm around her and held her close to him, pulling her into the fold of his arm as if they were newlyweds again. He kissed the top of her head.
“Look, I’m sorry about the fight, I’m sorry about what I said but, I’m not sorry on what I meant. I really don’t want you to take on this extra client. I got this great promotion and the OT is going to stop. We will be able to spend more time together. I promise.” He sounded so sincere.
Jessica looked up at him as he looked at her, deeply, like he used to. She said ok and kissed him, sexually. Jessica sat quietly day dreaming on her parent’s couch reminiscing in her mind what had happened next on the couch. She didn’t reminisce that out loud because, well, frankly her parent’s really didn’t need to hear about her sex life in detail. She just gave them the typical “preschool kiss and make up story”.
Things got a bit better after that. Valentine’s Day especially was a big surprise. He took her for the weekend to The Westwynd Farm in Hershey. What a beautiful place. What an awesome weekend. After that things got a little out of whack again. Tom was still doing overtime. His hours seemed to keep getting later and later. The Flyers schedule picked up and it looked like they were going to make the playoffs which meant travel for Jessica and less time at home. She sensed that Tom recognized this so to try to make it up to him a bit she decided to surprise him.
It was Sunday the 29th of March. Jessica woke up alone with a note from Tom.
There was a bit of sarcasm in the note but Jessica just brushed it off because she knew after tonight, she had hoped, would ease some of that tension that had built up again between the two of them. She went into the office for a half day. She got another photographer to cover that nights Flyers game and she stopped at the Reading Market to pick up a few more ingredients she needed to make Tom his favorite meal that night. She also had a special little extra treat for him in the Victoria’s Secret bag in the bag seat of her Audi SUV. She pulled in the driveway about 1pm. Perfect timing, she thought. Tom wasn’t expected home until 4. That gave her enough time to get in, get the pork roast started in the rotisserie, peel the potatoes, prepare the broccoli, take a shower and put on the black slip dress. She had just turned the dial on the rotisserie to 180 min when she heard, what sounded like, someone dropped a shoe on the floor of the bedroom right above her.
Jessica paused and covered her eyes with her hands trying to pull herself together before she continued with what happened next. Her mom just reached over and put her hand on her knee.
“It’s ok Jessie honey, just take a deep breath.” She said with a quiver in her voice. As if she already knew what Jessica was going to say next. But how could she, how could she possibly know what was next.
Jessica looked up at the drop ceiling above her, took a deep breath and continued. “It was horrible mom. When I got to the top of the stairs, I heard a women’s voice. When I got to the double doors to our bedroom I heard a man and a woman. I opened the door and, and…” Jessica paused, “and I saw Tom in our bed with two women who were obviously naked. The room got quiet and I just stood there and watched as a third women revealed herself from under the covers. It was Alana.”
“WHAT!” Both her parents, in unison, as if scripted, were in shock at what Jessica just said.
“Yup, that’s right, Alana. Tom’s adopted sister.” Jessica could do nothing more but sob into her mother's shoulder.
Jessica gave her father a hug hello, which in itself was rare. Gary wasn’t exactly an affectionate man. But I guess when you talk to your only daughter over the phone 1 or 2 times a month for the past 18 years it brings out the best in someone. Jessica was planning on coming up after the New Year. Once she got her head on straight again after the divorce. Truth was she knew that would never happen. She needed to talk and vent, and let’s face it; a professional isn’t always the best. With her mind not particularly on her work lately it had started to show. She was pulled into her boss’s office and pretty much forced into a long overdue vacation/sabbatical. Her boss was one of the best she had. She also just happened to be her best friend.
Karine had call Jessica in her office about 10am on the 18th. Wasn’t to “out of the ordinary”. She probably just wanted to talk about the shots from the hockey game the night before.
“Hey boss what’s up? Did you review the series from last night?”
“Yea, Jessica come in and have a seat my dear. We need to talk”
Jessica was a bit confused. They went over the series and even she had to admit there were quite a few that were a bit amateurish. There were enough of the great shots to pass but too many to throw out. Karine got up from her desk and walked over and shut her office door. Now is when Karine went from boss to best friend.
“Jessica, you need to take some time off of work. I know we have talked about this before and I respected your wishes to let you bury yourself in your work until the New Year but as a friend, and especially as your boss, I can’t let you continue like this.”
“Oh boy here we go” Jessica groaned
“Oh boy yea that’s right. Jessie….Sorry Jessica, your work is starting to show your stress. I am putting you on sabbatical.”
“Sabbatical! That is just insane. I don’t need sabbatical. I just need to get through the next two weeks, take my week’s vacation and I will be fine.”
“No Jessica, it’s already done. As of today you are on sabbatical. You’re done for three months.” Karine continued as Jessica rolled her eyes and started to protest. “Jessica stop right there. You are the best damn sports photographer this city has seen in 20 years. You worked hard to get that status and I will not sit idly by as you bury yourself and turn in shit work for a series. Now don’t worry about upcoming games. I will assign two people to the hockey games, together they should be able to turn in something comparable to you. You will be back in time for the playoffs and hopefully have your head together and continue to be my, the city’s, #1 photographer.”
Jessica really couldn’t argue. She knew Karine was right. Plus, she always did have her back and best interests at heart. So, here it was, 2 days later and she was sitting on her parents couch after 18 years trying to avoid the question of “where’s Tom”. She thought avoiding the subject and answering the first question of “what are you doing here, we weren’t expecting you until after the New Year” would keep her mother’s mind off the lingering more important questions. She knew her mom was chomping at the bit just waiting for the chance to ask again. As Jessica took a sip of water that gave her mom the window she needed.
“Jessie honey, why do you need to get your head back together and god sake why isn’t Tom with you? And enough of this ‘he’s in the shower or doing overtime’ bit. I want to know what’s going on.”
Jessica knew her mother was just playing dumb. She could see it written all on her mother’s face that she knew something was up. So she started from the beginning. They lived in a beautiful 3500 square foot huge house in Lansdale just north of the city. Jessica was intent on staying and living in the city but not Tom. He wanted “the dream house”. It was a beautiful home and Jessica got used to not always being in the middle of all the excitement the city had to offer. They were happy, so she thought. As Jessica worked her way to the top of her field Tom couldn’t be more supportive. Tom had a great job himself. He was a program designer for the city’s biggest TV broadcast company. He himself was working his way up to the top. They were living quite well. Then in 1998, and every year so far there after, Jessica was named the #1 sports photographer in the country. Offers started to pour in from lots of big named companies. Even National Geographic came knocking. The Philadelphia Company she was working for gave her a huge raise and a special copy write on her photos. Once the company had their photos that they were going to use she was free to take whatever else and sell them to other advertisement agencies and online sites to use. This is where things started to turn for her and Tom. Tom wasn’t too keen on the fact that Jessica’s paychecks were more than his. Tom started picking up more overtime to try to supplement the difference between the two. Jessica started to get a bit lonely. There were a lot of times when she was eating alone, waking up alone, and going to bed alone. So, she thought, maybe I’ll just take on another team to photograph. She already had the Eagles and the Flyers so she thought, “If I pick up the Phillies, I can do professional all year round instead of fall, winter, some spring, and then spotty college in the summer.”
It was about a year ago to the day when Jessica decided to take on the Phillies. She was excited about the new opportunity and couldn’t wait to tell Tom about it. Tom didn’t take it as well as she had hoped he would. He completely flew off the handle.
“So what do you think Thomas? I’m sure I can get some great shots from the Dugout.” She said excitedly
“Huh, what do I think? I can't believe you went and did this to me. You just can't stand it can you. I finally got the promotion I was working at and you just couldn’t take it. You just can’t stand the fact that I was finally going to be making more money than you, you just HAD to go out and pick up ANOTHER client didn’t you”. He said raising his voice. Jessica was in complete shock. She did not expect this.
“Don’t stand there looking at me like I’m insane! You’re the one who is always complaining ‘Oh Tom we never see each other anymore, we need a vacation together’, blah blah blah” he said mockingly “and then you go and do this?!!
“Tom, I’m sorry I didn’t know this is how you felt you never said anything to me. We never talked about this”. Jessica said trying to stay calm.
“Oh give me a fucking break Jessie. You don’t care what I think all you have ever cared about is your stupid photography career and your “#1 best photographer” title. You don’t give a shit about my feelings”. Tom turned and started to leave. Jessica couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Well, let me give you a little news flash, welcome to the 21st fucking century Thomas. Women are allowed to make money too. Where the hell are you going?” Jessica followed Tom out the door and onto the porch. He was already at his car with the door open when she got to the top of the porch steps. “Thomas answer me where the hell are you going? Typical you leaving in the middle of a fight that you started. Just go ahead and walk away as usual.”
“No Jessie, I didn’t start this fight. You started it back when you decided to pick up another client. And I’m going to the office. At least there if people are going to stab you in the back they at least have the decency to throw marshmallows instead of stones.” He answered in an eerily calm demeanor.
Ugh, what did that even mean, Jessica thought. Oh and she HATED when he called her Jessie. Tom drove off and she just stormed back into the house. Jessica paused for a bit to take a sip of water before she continued. It seemed as if the story was almost done. Truth was, it was only about half way. She took a deep breath, whipped a few damp tears and continued.
Jessica found herself waking up at 2am that night to the sound of the garage door opening and an empty bottle of Merlot on the coffee table in front of her. She laid completely still with her eyes closed wondering if the 8 hours Tom had been gone was enough to settle down. She didn’t hear him come in the room but she could feel his presence next to her. Not to mention the faint smell cheap roses. You know the $5 a dozen you can pick up on just about every street corner in Philly. Even in the dead of winter. She heard the crinkle of cellophane close to her as she opened her eyes. She saw the roses setting on the table in front of her and Tom had squatted down to her level.
“It’s late Jessie lets go to bed” Tom said quietly
She regretted slightly what she was about to say. “No Tom, we need to talk about what happened today. You know that” she sat up on the couch and Tom moved in to sit next to her. Close. He put his arm around her and held her close to him, pulling her into the fold of his arm as if they were newlyweds again. He kissed the top of her head.
“Look, I’m sorry about the fight, I’m sorry about what I said but, I’m not sorry on what I meant. I really don’t want you to take on this extra client. I got this great promotion and the OT is going to stop. We will be able to spend more time together. I promise.” He sounded so sincere.
Jessica looked up at him as he looked at her, deeply, like he used to. She said ok and kissed him, sexually. Jessica sat quietly day dreaming on her parent’s couch reminiscing in her mind what had happened next on the couch. She didn’t reminisce that out loud because, well, frankly her parent’s really didn’t need to hear about her sex life in detail. She just gave them the typical “preschool kiss and make up story”.
Things got a bit better after that. Valentine’s Day especially was a big surprise. He took her for the weekend to The Westwynd Farm in Hershey. What a beautiful place. What an awesome weekend. After that things got a little out of whack again. Tom was still doing overtime. His hours seemed to keep getting later and later. The Flyers schedule picked up and it looked like they were going to make the playoffs which meant travel for Jessica and less time at home. She sensed that Tom recognized this so to try to make it up to him a bit she decided to surprise him.
It was Sunday the 29th of March. Jessica woke up alone with a note from Tom.
Jessie,
Had to go work some OT.
I will be home by 4nbut you will be
at another game. See you when
you get in tonight. I’ll be asleep I’m sure.
Tom
Jessica paused and covered her eyes with her hands trying to pull herself together before she continued with what happened next. Her mom just reached over and put her hand on her knee.
“It’s ok Jessie honey, just take a deep breath.” She said with a quiver in her voice. As if she already knew what Jessica was going to say next. But how could she, how could she possibly know what was next.
Jessica looked up at the drop ceiling above her, took a deep breath and continued. “It was horrible mom. When I got to the top of the stairs, I heard a women’s voice. When I got to the double doors to our bedroom I heard a man and a woman. I opened the door and, and…” Jessica paused, “and I saw Tom in our bed with two women who were obviously naked. The room got quiet and I just stood there and watched as a third women revealed herself from under the covers. It was Alana.”
“WHAT!” Both her parents, in unison, as if scripted, were in shock at what Jessica just said.
“Yup, that’s right, Alana. Tom’s adopted sister.” Jessica could do nothing more but sob into her mother's shoulder.
Chapter One
Jessica never thought in a million years she would find herself back in the small town hell hole she used to call home. But, she was here. As she drove into town she saw eerily familiar buildings and businesses. Passing the little mom and pop stores that somehow through the recession seem to be doing quite well. As she passed the community park in the center of town she couldn't help but reminisce about being a 13 year old tomboy playing in the little creek that ran through the park catching tadpoles.
As Jessica started to approach the end of town she found herself slowing down under the speed limit. She knew she would be there soon and she was not looking forward to the looks on her parents faces when they find out about the divorce. She has spoken to them several times over the past week. It was becoming more difficult to come up with some excuse as to where Tom was. Oh he is at work doing some overtime for extra Christmas money, he just ran to the store, or the ever so popular, he’s in the shower. She was sure her mother suspected something was up even though she never let on of her concerns.
It all happened so fast. One day they were sitting at the breakfast table completely in love sipping on coffee and nibbling on each other instead of the perfectly good bagels on the table in front of them and the next thing you know she’s opening the master bedroom window throwing out all obscenities in the book along with his wardrobe.
Jessica made that right hand turn into the driveway of her parents home, the same home they had lived in for 40 years, she began to feel a bit of anxiety. She started to take shorter faster breaths, her palms started sweating, her heart beating heavily. It may have been December 20th but inside her car at that moment if felt like some dog days of summer. “Calm down Jessie, this is ridiculous, it’s only your parents for Pete’s sake” she said to herself. Putting the car in park was slow and hard. She turned off the ignition unplugged the cell phone charger, rested her head on the back of her seat, took a deep breath sigh.
“I am so not ready for this”
As she opened the door and put one foot on the ground she heard the back door to her parents house open and the crying sound of her mother’s voice.
“Jessie!!! Oh my goodness, is it really you?!! Gary, get out here your daughter is here” She yelled for her husband, Jessica’s father, for 46 years.
“Hi Momma” Jessica forced a smile
“What are you doing here Jessie, we weren’t expecting you till the New Year? I thought you couldn't get off of work? And where’s Tom?”
“Momma, we need to talk” and just like that, tears came to the front of her eyes. She had done
so well over the past 6 months. She didn't even cry when she got the final divorce papers, actually that was more of a relief. But somehow, no matter what, her mom could make her cry. This was going to be rough…
As Jessica started to approach the end of town she found herself slowing down under the speed limit. She knew she would be there soon and she was not looking forward to the looks on her parents faces when they find out about the divorce. She has spoken to them several times over the past week. It was becoming more difficult to come up with some excuse as to where Tom was. Oh he is at work doing some overtime for extra Christmas money, he just ran to the store, or the ever so popular, he’s in the shower. She was sure her mother suspected something was up even though she never let on of her concerns.
It all happened so fast. One day they were sitting at the breakfast table completely in love sipping on coffee and nibbling on each other instead of the perfectly good bagels on the table in front of them and the next thing you know she’s opening the master bedroom window throwing out all obscenities in the book along with his wardrobe.
Jessica made that right hand turn into the driveway of her parents home, the same home they had lived in for 40 years, she began to feel a bit of anxiety. She started to take shorter faster breaths, her palms started sweating, her heart beating heavily. It may have been December 20th but inside her car at that moment if felt like some dog days of summer. “Calm down Jessie, this is ridiculous, it’s only your parents for Pete’s sake” she said to herself. Putting the car in park was slow and hard. She turned off the ignition unplugged the cell phone charger, rested her head on the back of her seat, took a deep breath sigh.
“I am so not ready for this”
As she opened the door and put one foot on the ground she heard the back door to her parents house open and the crying sound of her mother’s voice.
“Jessie!!! Oh my goodness, is it really you?!! Gary, get out here your daughter is here” She yelled for her husband, Jessica’s father, for 46 years.
“Hi Momma” Jessica forced a smile
“What are you doing here Jessie, we weren’t expecting you till the New Year? I thought you couldn't get off of work? And where’s Tom?”
“Momma, we need to talk” and just like that, tears came to the front of her eyes. She had done
so well over the past 6 months. She didn't even cry when she got the final divorce papers, actually that was more of a relief. But somehow, no matter what, her mom could make her cry. This was going to be rough…
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